Time to wrap it up, and round ‘em up – this month’s puppies for sale.

By puppies, I mean drawings.  

The ones that have been part of the conversation this month, helping to navigate the sometimes treacherous waters.  Helping to stay the course, clarify the desires and uproot the not-working-bits. 

Drawings...  

That come from the interior space where metaphor and meaning-making churns…  

That place where magic and mystery reside...

These drawings are allies...   

Reminding us that this place exists.  Bouncing off the walls (metaphorically of course), to set the tone we love to be in and remind us that yes, magic, and mystery and creativity are the places where we come alive.

Where the juices flow.

Where the space-just-for-you is wide open.    

Whisking you into the realm of "you."

Yours for only....  

$75 + shipping, all drawings are 8.5”x11” on paper, original works, unframed… 

(If you’re totally in love with a piece, and operating under a specific budget, let me know.  I love getting these to the places where they most want to be and am open to payment plans, adjustments, etc.  )

"From the moment I opened my mail, I couldn't stop smiling as I held your artwork in front of me. (I hope that was an appropriate reaction). I actually kind of chuckled, too. Mostly because something - everything - about this drawing connects with me in some way. I feel like it really, totally relates to whatever the hell is going on with me at the moment.  Even though our situations may differ, it's the feelings and emotions that cut through our individual situations that are the connective forces. Thank you for being a part of my life in this way." 

Stephanie Artist, Healer, Educator

Mark the Spot Where it Entered

A New Universe is Unfolding

That's the Spot

Woah - Where Am I?

How Do I Learn to Surrender?

In A Woman's Body

Don't Leave Things Dangling

Or go big, and scoop this baby up.  

It’s ready to hang out and have the conversation that you’ve been longing to have.
See, and read, more about it here.  

$750 + shipping.   

(Again, if you've fallen in love and want to negotiate on the price, let me know.  I'm listening...)

Holes in Your Theories, 48"x28"

Email me so we can determine things like shipping and such!

Today’s She-Ching answer to: How do I learn to surrender? How do I fall back, and into, trust? Answer (+ corresponding drawing): Don’t Second Guess Your Motives.

Don't Second Guess Your Motives, ink on paper, 8.5"x11",  Jessica Serran, 2012.  $75:  email me.  

This week’s theme:  trust, and surrender and my relationship to my masculine side (which snowballs into my general relationship to the masculine, and yes, men.)

It’s archetypal, and not – all at the same time.

It came up last week.  

Questioning my Surrender Muscles

I signed up for the Heart Of Business Heart of Money course.  In it, there’s a daily Remembrance practice, which is great cause I’m a self-proclaimed self-forgetter. 

At some point in the Remembrance, or in the reading, or somewhere, the idea of being fully supported came up.  Fully supported by something bigger than me.   Supported in our businesses.  Not having to do so much all the time.  Making space.

Which is where I found my edge.

I used to be a big advocate of trusting the universe.  

I used to do it, and believe in it, fiercely – in some capacity. 

I used to believe in a universe that had my back. 

On Metaphor, Contain-hers, Marion Woodman + a Nietzsche quote that I’m both fond of, and slightly put off by…

My MA Thesis began with needing to answer the question:  Why make art?  To which now, I have an answer that works for me. 

My partner-in-conversation crime has been asking questions about images -- where do they come from, how do they get here, and what are they for?

He’s a studier of philosophy, which makes his answers, and the places that he goes looking for these things very different than mine. 

He offered a Nietzsche quote the other day: 

"You creators, you higher men! Whoever has to give
birth is sick; but whoever has given birth is unclean.
Ask women: one does not give birth because it is
fun. Pain makes hens and poets cackle.
You creators, there is much that is unclean in you
That is because you had to be mothers.
A new child: oh, how much new filth has also come
into the world! Go aside! And whoever has given birth
should wash his soul clean."

And then this one:

"An image costs as much labor to humanity as a new characteristic to a plant." 

 Jacques Bousquet

We were talking about the idea of image, and form as well.  Which for me, has to do with this marriage of soul and spirit -- of creativity needing a form, a container, a body in order to come into existence. 

The container. 

Or as I recently spelled it, the contain-her.  But not in an oppressive, restrictive way.  In a safe – “hey, I’ve got you,” kind of a way.

A place for the inspiration to go. 

In the folds... a drawing. Wings? The brain? Labium? All of the above?

And something coming out of the middle...  

Coming Up and Out, ink on paper, 8.5"x11", 2011.  $75:  email me.  

Am I too self-absorbed?

This morning’s hot topic. 

Are all of my twitter tweets and facebook postings and blogging all in the service of self-absorption? 

And is that a bad thing? 

But more importantly: who’s asking? 

And who am I answering to? 

Seems like we’ve bumped into the energy/target audience thing again.

One of the things I learned last year, and steadily rely upon, is how to defend myself. 

How to speak up, and to, the voices and determine whose voice it is in the first place. 

The conversation this morning went something like this: 

Practical Masculine voice:  You’re too self-absorbed.  All these posts about you, and your process and your art.  Come on.  People will get tired of that and see through it and understand just how selfish you are. 

Me, at first:  Oh.  Well I should really consider that.  Too bad I’m past the point of rational consideration and am now feeling like a piece of self-absorbed shit. 

Practical Masculine, now authoritarian voice:  Yes.  You should indeed consider what I’m saying.  Take it on my authority that it’s not what the world needs. 

How I actually feel about the quote-un-quote art world…

…. And why I think it’s time to better understand and articulate my often disappointing-and-adversarial relationship to it. 

Interesting that I just used the word adversarial. 

A few weeks ago I had several encounters in the same week with the “art world.”  Or so I was referring to it then.  And it occurred to me that the term “art world” is

a.  very broad

and b. clearly layered with some of my own gunk.  

It’s a term that I use with a fair amount of regularity, and generally with a fair amount of disdain.  Disdain and disappointment. 

But why?  And what the hell does this term mean to me? 

It’s time to unlock its hold over me and unravel some of its mysteries. 

What I usually mean when I say “art world.” 

It’s this: “art world” is my term for the overly-heady, disembodied world of art and artists that feels incomprehensible unless you are part of the elite intellectual circle from which it came, complete with the appropriate reference materials and cleverly interwoven concepts. 

It’s a world of floating heads.  A world of art statements that read more like an encyclopedic entry of current buzzwords than anything applicable to day-to-day existence. 

It’s the realm of “clever” art, emaciated art, art that seems to reference itself and other self-referential works. 

I actually do have the time, she said to herself. And realized that she was actually starting to believe it…

Something’s shifting.  And it’s connected to the last series of posts I’ve written about

a.      what I’m done with
b.     re-membering what I’ve already done
c.     claiming my needs

d.   not letting in things that don't serve me

e.   realizing, in the words of Tracey at twistedpinky.com - it's balls to the walls baby!

and f. a tweet about not having a schedule, but having rhythms.

 

Cause listen up y’all – I’m an artist.  I know – it’s a pretty obvious statement. 

And I’ve watched how, over the past 6 months, forces, probably safe to say that they’re internal forces having an oh-so-interesting relationship with the external ones, have tried to cock block me from doing and having what I want. 

Shit’s been running interference.  And I’ve allowed it.  For various reasons that I don’t need to get into here.

But now I say, oh hell naw. 

A drawing: It's where the cord got cut -- you were left gasping...

Where the Cord Got Cut, 8.5"x11", ink on paper.  $75:  email me:  j@jessicaserran.com

A list! Seeds that I’ve planted. Shit that I’ve done! Moves that have been made…

My new year officially starts this week.  

Cause I’ve made some important choices.  I’ve listed my “wants” in clear and plain English.  Not the wants for my art career, cause those have been the easier ones to state, but the wants for everything that surrounds and supports my art career. 

Which, my friends, is a revolutionary act for me.  I’m pausing for a moment of celebration and relief.  (and my god, to think, where might all this energy go now?!)

It’s part of my effort around Re-member-ing (putting the pieces of me back together) cause I can be such a skilled forgetter. 

And if I spend some time in Re-membrance it helps shore up a more realistic view of what’s gone down and stave off some of the not-true-fear-monger-ers within…

So this is:  Pulling-from-the-past-to-remember-what-might-shoot-up-from-the-soil-in-the-near-future so I can continue watering and shining light on it. 

Some are actualities that have already manifested, some haven’t.  The point is that I’m focusing on the energy and the intentions, and the re-member-ing...

Feel free to reflect on your own seeds in the comments below. 

THE LIST

1.  Was accepted for the residency that I applied for at meetfactory in Prague. 

2.  Applied for funding for said residency. 

3.  Showed work at the Woman Made Gallery in Chicago – yayy women’s art!

Dying Possibilities Make Space for New Ones, she said, in her most journalistic voice.

Fragment from Find the Holes in Your Theories, mixed media on board, 48"x28", 2011.  

Menses.  Shedding.  Letting possibilities go and making space for new ones.  Literally, and of course, metaphorically. 

What is no longer possible. 

It’s not possible anymore to spread my energy thin. 

It’s no longer possible to say yes to things when my body says NO.

It’s not possible to deny what lies beneath the surface.  (because the physical body will start to scream) 

It’s not possible to put my career, my health, and my self-care second. 

It’s no longer possible to hide. 

It’s not possible to pretend that I don’t feel deeply and that art-making isn’t central to my well-being.

It’s not possible to believe that this isn’t my path, that this isn’t viable, that this isn’t lucrative. 

It’s just not possible…

And I’m willing to let these things die to make space for new possibilities. 

It is possible to respond with impossibilities of your own… little deaths that might be occurring. 

It is possible to purchase drawings from this blog.  (email me when you see one you like:  j@jessicaserran.com)

It is possible to honour my cycles.  To rest when the body says rest.  To listen when the body says eat chocolate.  To stop drinking coffee in the middle of the cup because you know it’s over – at least for that day. 

It is possible to say No to things that feel unhealthy, to catch them as they are coming in and to protect myself.

It is possible to watch the seeds we plant spread, to water them and to trust. 

It is possible to thrive.  To create what we want.  To be in integrity and take mindful, sweet care of our energy.

It’s also possible to sink deeper into trust, which means honouring the uncertainty and loosening our control of the reins – even just a wee bit. 

It is possible to send this out and to feel safe.  

It’s also possible to hold this all lovingly, to know that the unconscious gets prickly when new things come into consciousness and to give it another task so that it doesn’t feel completely out-of-a-job. 

It’s possible to remember that change takes time, that awareness-es often come fast and hard and that integration is an ongoing process. 

It’s possible. 

Prelude to this idea here:  I think I understand the twinkling Christmas lights.