I think I'll call them Documents of Engagement, she said, while darkness fell all around....

Letting Darkness In, 8.5"x11" ink on paper, 2011, $75.

Caution:  Melancholy material.  Could be considered un-uplifting...

This week I am weary. 

Weary and heavy. 

If I could turn the background colour of my blog to red, I would.  (Which doesn’t particularly strike me as the colour of weariness, but it’s appropriate, given the going-down-into-the-darkness aspect of bleeding)

The weariness is partially understood, can be partially accounted for, and partially exists in the realm of not-sure-yet-if-I-fully-understand it, or if the partially-understood-parts are to be trusted and not a disguise for something else. 

All good questions. 

What I know is this.  I started to feel disheartened when it was suggested to me that putting your work in the “wrong” gallery is akin to career suicide. 

I just don’t want to believe this, but more affectingly is the thought that we could be so fickle and create even more hoops for artists to have to jump through. 

Sigh…

I’m a fan of juxtapositions.  And hope that viewers can discern.  But maybe this is the problem as well, because yes, I also appreciate a well-curated show. 

Anyways.  Points of debate are numerous.  What’s more relevant for me is this disheartenment. 

I think it caught me in the place where I tend to feel conflicted.   That space of me-in-relation-to-the-“art world.” 

Maybe I should define for myself what “art world” means to me, since really, it’s such a vast, diverse animal...  Then maybe the conflicting aspects of it wouldn’t sneak up on my so easily. 

So how shall I handle it? 

Just going to be sad, and weary and disheartened for a while.  I’ll go into it and see what else is there. 

Yesterday was one of these days too.  I went to an artist’s book release presentation.  The artist Jan Brož did a series of artworks and investigations based on a Glass Factory in the area where he grew up – Rapotín, Czech Republic.  I was thinking about this approach to art-making, which led him to research the history of the factory, the social situation and the realities of how privatization, after the fall of communism affected the workers and the industry.  

It struck me that there was something similar with his way of working and the project that I’m doing (Identify, which I haven’t talked much about here on the blog but it’s still in the works).  Kindof art-as-research, where the objects both further the exploration and document discoveries along the way. 

I thought to call my objects ‘Documents of Engagement’, which is kindof an accurate way of describing them. 

(I thought this because I surrendered to yesterday’s heaviness and found this in the dark self-reflective/self-critical space I was in.)

Also perhaps a line of cards based on my drawings called Pseudo-Sentimentals. 

Anyways, vulnerably yours,

Jessica 

Let's see, I'm sure there's a few other vulnerable posts floating around:  
This is a good one - talks about the "art world" too:  Exposing My Pimply Butt
About menstruation and admitting my pain:  Space and Time

And about what to do in the darkness:  Learning to Be Responsible

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Oh, and a heads up if you're not already aware:  Most of the drawings on this blog are for sale, including today's:  $75 + shipping....  : : : : : : : :

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