Today’s She-Ching answer to: How do I learn to surrender? How do I fall back, and into, trust? Answer (+ corresponding drawing): Don’t Second Guess Your Motives.

Don't Second Guess Your Motives, ink on paper, 8.5"x11",  Jessica Serran, 2012.  $75:  email me.  

This week’s theme:  trust, and surrender and my relationship to my masculine side (which snowballs into my general relationship to the masculine, and yes, men.)

It’s archetypal, and not – all at the same time.

It came up last week.  

Questioning my Surrender Muscles

I signed up for the Heart Of Business Heart of Money course.  In it, there’s a daily Remembrance practice, which is great cause I’m a self-proclaimed self-forgetter. 

At some point in the Remembrance, or in the reading, or somewhere, the idea of being fully supported came up.  Fully supported by something bigger than me.   Supported in our businesses.  Not having to do so much all the time.  Making space.

Which is where I found my edge.

I used to be a big advocate of trusting the universe.  

I used to do it, and believe in it, fiercely – in some capacity. 

I used to believe in a universe that had my back. 

But at some point during this past two years of “things” happening, all of it came up for questioning.  Not in an existential – is there a god or is there not a god kind of way; more like this: 

Maybe my trust in the universe is so strong because it’s easier than trusting people. 

Eek. 

So I started to explore this “trusting people thing.”  Specifically the idea of trusting a man.  

In this new Re-membrance practice I’ve started to wonder about the relationship between surrender, and trust, and support (and all theback pain that I’ve been experiencing). 

So I’m asking, exploring, and drawing. 

When the shit hit my proverbial fan a year and a half ago, I found myself religiously consulting the I Ching.  It was partially for fun and partially a desperate attempt to have something tell me what was up or how to frame things. 

In that place I was in – uprooting and questioning trust, I was desperate for some type of guidance. 

But lately, guidance that reeks too heavily of a male voice, or masculine way of experiencing spirituality has started to chafe.  

Hence, the drawing being called a She-Ching reading.  Cause it came from me, and through me.  And I understand this language.   

The idea of Not Second Guessing My Motives is rocking my socks. 

A novel idea.  Thanks place-that-the-drawing-came-from!

And so you know:  If you see one of these drawings that you love, that could adorn your walls and keep you connected to your depths, email me.  They’re for sale!  $75 + shipping....  

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